iguanamouth: iguanamouth: people selectively breeding pigeons is the funniest thing in the world and the results are even better llook at this wheres your hfufcking HEAD i cant breathe how does this thing wal k or do aynthing at all
permanentlyhiddlestoned: phoenix: sakibatch: one day benedict cumberbatch and tom hiddleston are gonna win all of the oscars and theyre gonna be like “oh bless you but i cant take all of these here give them to the nominees yes bless you im so sorry” And that was how Leonardo DiCaprio finally got an Oscar. I just spit water all over my desk.
puppetparade: are you sure?
theguyunderyou: imawanchor: dylanofryin: actual picture of actual one direction fans it’s like a scene from a zombie movie One Infection
starksexual: i was at the bus stop with my sister the other day and for no apparent reason, she says: ‘dude, there are more dead people in the world than living people’ and the woman standing beside me whispered ‘holy shit’ and i fucking lost it
candlebud: cuntused: candlebud: people that wish dragons were real are you sure ARE YOU POSITIVE The last one is fake. It’s deathwing from wow. sorry guys you caught me. all of the other pictures are real dragons
narutoe: i farted in the apple store and everyone got mad but it wasnt my fault they don’t have Windows
roughrimjob: when u in da club n a broke nigga tryna grind
sloth-grunge: do you think if i die now i’ll have enough time to be reincarnated as kim kardashians baby
priest-of-rage: bedquest: dear fucking tumblr this is a fucking bumblebee this is a fucking bee this is a fucking hornet this is a fucking wasp as you can fucking see the longer their legs are and the less fuzzy they are is equivalent to how fucking evil they fucking are I feel like I just watched a step by step pokemon evolution
tell-that-to-my-frying-pan: grunkfield: im crying bc i just read an article saying that bieber literally called his manager at 3 am to say he decided that it should be spelled swaggy instead of swaggie Ew swaggy looks worse proof of what a tool he is
slotato: boomitsnialler: if it makes you feel any better this picture of me is in my high school yearbook and half my teachers came up to me and congratulated me on having the most embarrassing one and said they all laughed about it at a faculty meeting are you raven symone
tr3ndyc00l: apparently my school made the senior dinner great gatsby themed because what better theme for a graduation party than the inaccessibility of the american dream
yuppadupp: thewholockgames: districteverthorne: what if someone wrote a book and the plot was basically amazing and the characters were awesome and at the end of the book, you’re dying to know what happens, all you see is a ripped page and the author actually did it on purpose and you’ll never know what happens because all the other published copies are like that too calm down satan Time...
nutrientnatalie: little-uno: thatstoomainstream: It’s weird how in animals seeing ribs/collar&hip bones is considered sick or even abusive, but in people that’s considered beautiful. This may have just changed my life. Wow
asap-tran: really-shit: If your phone gets wet, try putting it in a bag of dry rice. At night, the rice will attract Asians who will fix your electronics for you. fuck
fabiandonatee: Single and ready to prndl
soudas: can you even sue the president like what if you tried to sue obama and you just got a letter back saying “no” and he came to your house and did the worm
So you know this gif?
themasterslover: laugh-addict: Apparently there’s a reversed one now i like the reversed better ;)
classyuptop: partybarackisinthehousetonight: pro tip: fill the piñata with absolutely nothing to prepare your kids for the letdowns of adulthood Bringing them down early.
bmoburns: preteenager: HOW DOES POPCORN EVEN DO THAT THING HERE I SHOW YOU THE THING
sheepishwoes: what the fuck did i just stumble across
i cybered on omegle today
You: wanna cyber
Stranger: Depends are you a girl? ;)
Stranger: And okay then, you start?
You: i come into ur bedroom
You: and ur sleeping
You: and i crawl under your blanket
Stranger: I'm still asleep
You: u feel me pulling down ur pants
You: and u wake up and smile
Stranger: I kiss you gently, still sleepy
You: then i smile and open the scissors around your dick and snap them closed
You: cutting off your penis
You: THATS WHAT YOU GET FOR CHEATING ON ME
Stranger: Then what...?
You: I HATE YOU
Stranger: I didn't cheat
You: you bleed to death in your bed
Stranger: i didn't cheat on you. lets restart ok
You: nobody ever knows what happened
You: i flee to mexico with your Mercedes
You: the end
Stranger: I have a mercedes?
You: not anymore faggot
Your conversation partner has disconnected.
sparkerz90: ponies-and-politics: idreaminwords: Do you ever look up from reading a book and get disoriented because you’re actually in your bedroom or class or somewhere that isn’t the story? I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE OMG i once got so into a book that I didn’t recognize my own bedroom or my name. I swore I was the main character of the book.